Whether you are hosting a dinner, visiting for the holidays, or meeting for the first time, the in-laws can be a little scary. You may be full of questions but the biggest is likely, “will they like me?” or “what if they don’t like me?”
Keep these ideas in mind and you will have a better chance of being accepted:
- Participate and/or initiate conversation. Learn about them, ask about family vacations, how they met, or what you spouse was like growing up.
- Share. Talk about your experiences growing up, your dreams and goals. Let them see your individuality.
- Be respectful and honest. Share concerns. Express opinions and feelings about events and situations. Be flexible.
- Tell them all the great things you appreciate about your spouse.
- Incorporate their family rituals, recipes, etc, in your celebrations.
- Encourage your spouse to spend time with his/her parents. Don’t fear it or be threatened by it.
- Invest time and effort in the relationship – keep it up!
Caution: Do not over share. Do not complain about your spouse. Do not ask for advice about things that cannot be reversed or force sides to be taken.
Bonus: Ask advice about innocuous topics: landscaping, recipes, decorating, etc.
If you are having difficulty with your partner’s family, contact me. Let’s brainstorm some ideas. We can even set up a family meeting to find some middle ground.