You just got divorced, or perhaps you’ve been single again for a while. When is the right time to get involved again? How do you know you are ready to get in another relationship?
Believe it or not but there is a general rule of thumb: refrain from a relationship for one month of every year you were in a committed/significant relationship. Married 12 years, no relationship for 1 year. Living together for 6 years, no relationship for 6 months.
But, but, but you hate being along and are happier when you are in a relationship. Or, “I keep finding the wrong girls so I have to keep looking for the right girl.” Or, practice makes perfect…
The process of divorce is not just a legal one, there are feelings, promises, dreams, and memories involved. Issues of rejection and trust; as well as characteristics of the grief cycle. Why would you want to take anger into a new relationship? Why would you want to be in denial your marriage is over AND start a new relationship? You don’t. But you may not know what to do next.
Society, our friends and family, believe everyone should be paired up. Get back on the saddle.
Take some time for yourself. Think about the good with the bad. What part did you play in both? What could you have done differently? What would you like to see more of or less of next time? What are you willing to be more or less of next time? Who did you marry – what type of person were they? Is there a pattern in the partner you seek that may not be right for you?
Talking to someone after about divorce is just as important as talking to someone about marriage. Understanding what went wrong can help ensure it won’t happen again.