I’ve noticed this with several topics where others are not capable, willing, or cognizant of empathizing with a sick or sticky problem.
When someone asks, “how are you?” they are not prepared for the truth. They don’t want to hear about the cancer, abuse, dysfunction, debt, or whatever is happening in your life. They want to hear, “I’m good” Because then they are good!
When June offers a status on her health to family, friends, coworkers, they tend to personalize it as their own. They discuss their own cold, flu, or virus. They discuss their own money woes. They discuss how bad things are in their life without really empathizing how it is for June.
After many conversations with June about how it appears no one cares I told her this… It is easier for them to identify with their own world than crawl (even for a moment) into her world because they don’t think they can handle it. They have real problems of their own and taking on her cancer is extremely hard for them. I told her that people who can handle it will float to the top and offer advice and a hug. They will understand… but not everyone is comfortable with it. Maybe they have suffered a loss in the line of cancer and it brings back too many memories. Maybe they fear death or are not as strong as she is.
We have to let people handle what they can handle. We have to seek strength where we can safely find it. We cannot expect others to be where we are when we are there.