Cold Feet

The idea of cold feet can either be a gut feeling or the fear of change of life-as-you-know-it.   You might want to listen to both.   If it’s a gut feeling, perhaps there is a quality or characteristic about your partner that deep down scares you about making a commitment.  Does your future beloved get angry easily? Has he/she cheated on you? Does your partner drink too much or act irresponsibly? Does your soon-to-be want kids but you don’t? These are things that are unlikely to change after the “save the date”.   You get to decide what you are willing to live with.

If you fear how your life will change after the blissful union, then maybe you aren’t quite ready. Maybe you have more growing up to do or need to live independently for a bit to better prepare you for a partnership.   Have you ever lived on your own? Are you financially responsible for yourself?  Were you previously married? Being in a partnership is a lot of responsibility. You have to commit yourself 100% to the other person… not just 50/50. Things will change as you start sharing your life with another… where and how you spend your money and time, your priorities change, cohabitation, owning a home, more bills, joint accounts, ah – monogamy?!   Sit and picture other relationships around you, what works that you would like, what doesn’t work that you should watch for, and do you have 100% to give.

Having cold feet is a symptom, not a contagious life threatening disease. It is simply something to look at and acknowledge. Proceed with caution mixed with healthy amount of confidence in your decision.