Perhaps you grew up dreaming of a football team of kids in the house or just a boy and girl – in that order. Life sometimes has its own agenda, doesn’t it? Some women find they can’t have children at all or are surprised by multiples. We won’t even tackle invitro and the uncertainties that it may bring.
Statistics reflect 50% of first marriages end in divorce and two-thirds of our children are in single parent homes. Not at all what we imagined is it? While divorce isn’t the end of the world, the thought of sharing your child with another woman can feel like your heart being ripped from your chest.
“Why is his new wife trying to be a mother to my children?” You feel left out and undermined. You go into overdrive to protect, shelter, even claim your children. The lioness reaction to her young. And the worst fear ever – they will like her better than you.
Children will always want their biological parents to get back together. It is something in their brain that even through the yelling and fighting they wish mom and dad would work it out and be together. Adults of divorces admit they wished it could have been different – of course they see the reality but that inner child speaks volumes (and loud).
It may be hard to take the high road, it may take every ounce of your being, but trust that love, devotion, caring, attention, and responsibility all register with your children. Remain consistent. Never put your child in the middle of adult issues. Always be your authentic self. Be the mother you wanted your mother to be and you cannot go wrong.
“If you want me to hate her I will.“