Yours, Mine, and Ours: The Art of Blending Families
Divorce, remarriage, single parents – eventually these may result in a blending of families. No stress, there, right?
Let’s first define what a family is. Some believe this is your birth parents and immediate biological associations.
Others believe it includes all your extended aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins (regardless of how many times removed.) In fact, a family can be whatever you decide it to be. This is referred to as ‘family of choice’ versus ‘family of origin’. With that now defined, blending of families through marriage can become confusing, territorial, and rewarding all the same.
The Brady Bunch made it look easy. No where is it written that it must be difficult. So you sit here reading this and wonder, “how can I make this work for me?”
Here are a couple high-level things to think about:
* Take the high road. There are no winners in this fight. Even if you believe you are right, pick your battles wisely.
* What is best for the kids? Is it more important to be right than do what is best for the child(ren).
* You know what it’s like for you, but do you know how it is for the other players? Wouldn’t you love for them to understand how you feel?
* Realize you didn’t get along when you were married, why would you think divorce would be different? You have to change your communication style and be willing to meet in the middle.